Life Doesn’t Care

It seems so crazy how life can just give us breath than take it away
We wake up to breath air, and then we’re gone the next day
I try to be friends with life; maybe he’ll give me a chance
I try to cheat in life, see if I can take a glance
I am blinded by false dreams and misfits
I try so hard but sometimes I am inclined to quit

It hurts when you’ve lived a broken dream for so long
You look for new strength but there is no way to be strong
Even Moses had his problems but God was always there
I find myself in a desert; why is he not here?

Everyone wants to say they are there for you, but it’s all false
You gain without them; who cares if you lose it; it’s your loss
I like to sit back and maybe wish, knowing it to never come true
Hope that life can take me away from the grim and dew
But who knew

Life doesn’t give a fuck about you; it’s a win or lose
In this life we get used and abused
Trust no one; bend over so they can kiss your rare
Always know that life is not your friend
He doesn’t fucking care

The Last Breath may actually be your first:

Just when you think you want to give up and take the easy way out, angels come to your rescue. Just when you feel that you are ready to take your last breath, little do you know that may be your first breath to a new start, a new day, a new chance to take what you have in your possession and run with it and make the best of it. Life is more complicated than a maze a puzzle or even more difficult than understanding the Bible. Life is like a game. We are all in this but with a different motive and we all have different powers. Some have the power to reach the poor, some have powers to make the weak strong with just a couple of words and others have the power of laughter. We are all in this game and there is only two ways out. First, God gives and he can take away. One way to get out of this game is a free ticket to heaven if there is a heaven, but if the ticket is to a place where there is only the absence of God then how well did that person play his/her game? The second way is suicide. God has given us free choice. We are free to choose whatever we can on this earth. We can choose to serve him, we can choose to not. We can choose to die because we are able to take our own lives away in just a couple seconds. The game is not comprehendible. The game is not for us to figure out at all. The game is for us to survive. It’s for us to gain points by all the good we do and never to surrender. Our purpose is easy. We live to praise the master. We are not our own but slaves to his majesty; slaves in the most beautiful and liberating way. I know that sounds a bit crazy but think about it. Speaking in harsh Pentecostal terms (with no offense to anyone who is of the Pentecostal church or belief), we surrender all our wants that are not his and we fully serve him the way we are suppose to in order to gain the riches of heaven and eternal happiness. If we choose not to then we are condemned to hell to suffer for eternity. So the game is more complicated than just figuring out our purpose that God has for us. The purpose is simpler than we make it to be. The bible states that we are to live the way Jesus lived and to seek perfection. That’s our purpose and this life is more than a game it’s a test every second. The mighty man is sitting at his throne watching us and he makes his moves when he wants to. We’re a show for him with all due respect to the man up there. He’s a smart man and he knows that the only purpose is to fulfill his will and his will is basically to receive praise from all of humanity.
I know I’m all over the place but these are just my thoughts for the day. Before you ever think life is too hard to continue just know that every second and every day is worth it even if it’s the most horrible day, night or life. We choose our actions. If we suffer from what we have chosen then there is no reason to blame anyone else. God has done nothing but watch us and over us. He is not to blame.
Just when you think you want to take your last breath, it’s worth that last breath to become your first because just when you’re ready to part from this earth your whole life flashes before you and all those you love and loved voices clog up your ears and their faces fill our memory. There is nothing more beautiful than having your life reflect in front of your eyes because all the good flashes and all the bad disappears (at least that is for some, maybe not for all).
That last breath can be a start to a new chance to correct all the wrong that was done. So take that last breath and make it your first to a new beginning.

Why Do We Hurt Those We Love?

I could never fully understand why we hurt those we love. What occurs within ourselves that allows us to hurt those we truly love? I have been one to hurt those I truly love and I have recently hurt the person I adore and love the most. I have no excuses and I don’t know what had the power to possess me and allow me to do something so evil that affected not only myself but the person I love. I have regretted so much in my life. I have done so many things I told myself as a child I would never do and today I reflect upon my life and I regret doing all that I thought I could avoid doing. I have consumed alcohol under the legal age, smoked marijuana, stolen, lied, vandalized property, smoked cigarettes under the legal age, fornicated, made fun of people, bullied children, cheated, etc…but one thing I ask for is forgiveness to all those I have hurt or deceived.
I have no excuse for the wrongs I have done or ways to make it better but to not repeat it again. I have contacted the people that I felt needed apologies from me and I will continue to apologize no matter how big or how small my sin was towards them. I thought that at this point in my life I would have figured it all out and I would have grown from the sorrowful past that haunts me, but truth is I have slipped and fallen on my face. At this point in my life I am more lost than I have ever been. I am not happy with the person that I am and I am not happy with where my life is at this point.
I want to humble myself at the feet of Jesus and surrender to God and all those I loved and continue to love to apologize for any wrong that I have done.
I want to greatly apologize to that one person I hurt the most. Know that I love you so much and I will never do anything so evil and selfish to hurt you, myself or what we have or had ever again.